December 2009
131 posts
Top 10 Things I Didn't Have the Time or Motivation...
rideronthestorm:
1. That Weird Cottonelle Commercial Where the Bear Can’t Wipe His Ass Properly
I understand that toilet paper, and pretty much any product having to do with our “delicate sensibilities” (i.e. excreting fluid and/or waste from any one of our ferngullies) is hard to address on television, but to address it with such candor and openness defies practicality and logic. I don’t...
“Stereotypes wouldn’t be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.”
– anthonyjeselnik
Top 10 of 2009.
herbeautytoucheseverything:
In recognition of the new year, I have decided to post my favorite photos of this past year that I have taken. I hope you enjoy it.
Go look at them…now.
Elvis: Blue Christmas
At Midnight Mass and I just realized that Catholic...
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sharcraze:
O Holy Night - Mariah Carey
adamschoales:
Troy “Trombone Shorty” Andrews - O...
Luciano Pavarotti: O Holy Night
Fall on your knees...
I’ll be reblogging approximately 650 versions of “O Holy Night” tonight, so deal with it.
Merry Christmas, Tumblr.
Will I shock the world and go to Midnight Mass?
STAY TUNED!!!
(But, yeah, probably not. Do they have cookies there?)
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Yo, Pope Benedict, Imma let you finish but John... →
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Harry Reid accidentally votes "no" →
As I’ve been saying for months, Harry Reid is a bumbling fool and, yes, I know that he was able to quickly change his vote and everyone had a good laugh, but I’d still be happier if the Senate Majority Leader was someone who doesn’t fit the description of looking “grandmotherly”.
When I read the story, though, the first thing that came to mind was how big of an...
I'm not the kind of lady that gets creeped out by...
completelynormal:
but I can’t stand the thought of lizards and things like that on me. I can deal with bugs, mice, rats, whatevs. I even had a pet rat and played with it, and snakes don’t bother me, I can hold those suckers. But any kind of small reptile is just bleeeh. Lizards, iguanas, frogs. AHH I HATE FROGS.
Just letting you guys get to know me.
Also, I had to google the word creeped. It...
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Eminem: Stimulate
Feeling good when I should be...
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Historically Accurate Transcriptions: An UPDATED...
These Historically Accurate Transcriptions always seem to be popular, so I decided to give you and easy-to-locate index to read the previous installments to save you the trouble of sifting through 125 pages of AIDS jokes:
LINCOLN vs. McCLELLAN at Antietam
LINCOLN, PINKERTON & SOME GENERAL at Antietam
LINCOLN vs. PINKERTON
CLINTON vs. GORE
MALCOLM X & MLK
LBJ vs. MLK
LINCOLN at...
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If I wasn't so terrified of marriage, I would...
(via herbeautytoucheseverything)
My schedule is pretty open next week except for Tuesday when I have to pick my girlfriend up from the airport.
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The Narcissistic Countdown: #7
MY FIRST (AND ONLY) LIVEBLOG: (August 29, 2009)
When Senator Ted Kennedy died, I made it a point to wake up early and watch his funeral because I felt it would be quite the event — and it was. As I was watching it, I decided to do a liveblog with commentary on what I saw. It started out as me making jokes and ended up with me being fairly serious and touched by the funeral. So, the...
In Re Dora
beatriceeyales:
If this bitch asks me where we’re going one more time, I’m calling La Migra.
Beatrice is going to wear a Dora The Explorer backpack next semester, obviously.
I've had just about enough of Woodrow Fucking...
Nas (feat. Kanye West): Still Dreaming
...
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The Narcissistic Countdown: #8
SOMETIMES I AM NOT OFFENSIVE (November 11 & November 24, 2009)
For most of 2009, I posted inappropriate crap that most of you liked. However, the stuff I actually enjoy writing most are the pieces I write for Dead Presidents and other equally nerdy subjects. Number 8 on my Best of 2009 list are two recent, serious pieces. If you’re one of the people who enjoy the REALLY offensive...
“There is no bullshit with books. What’s on the page is what’s on the...”
– Robert Caro, Esquire: What I’ve Learned (January 2010)
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“And perhaps this helps to explain the frequency of the violent denouncement in...”
– Brad Leithouser, New York Times (via herbeautytoucheseverything)
Senator Ben Nelson has a tremendous toupee. I...
*Allegedly
“We don’t need to throw snowballs. We’re a classy crew here in...”
– Philadelphia Eagles head coach Andy Reid after Eagles fans started throwing snowballs at opposing fans during the Eagles-49ers game.
Ummm…I’ve spent quite a bit of time in Philadelphia and know a lot of people from Philly and this much is certain: “classy” is pretty much...
NPR: Oklahoma Abortion Law 'Invasive', Critics... →
The only thing more invasive than this abortion law in Oklahoma is an actual abortion.
Talib Kweli/Jay-Z/Kanye West/Mos Def: Get By...
Brvtalbrodeo's Top 100 Films of the Decade →
Joe’s countdown is underway. If you’re not following him, you should start. If you do follow him, you should read every part of the countdown. Homie watches movies like he’s the Motion Picture Association of America, so he knows his shit.
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Jeffrey Ross in front of a predominantly black...
iamchrysanthemum:
lickystickypickyme:
Otis...
“Whatever the quality is that white people enjoy in black people, I ain’t...”
– Paul Mooney in Black Is The New White.
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“I went to Al Sharpton’s birthday party and he kept calling this Asian lady “Lil Kim” and I said, “Why is he calling that woman ‘Lil Kim’?” Then I got over there: It WAS Lil Kim.
I didn’t know surgery could change your race.”
- The legendary Paul Mooney whose book, “Black Is The New White”, is a fantastic read and an...
54 Best Books of the Decade; mostly in no...
bibliotheque:
compiled & reviewed by Anaïs Escobar—this will be permanently in the links at the top of my main page below the writing archive if you need to find it in the future. reblog as needed. 1. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz, 2007 2. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon, 2001 3. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, 2003 4. The Road by Cormac...